Guest feature: What speaks appreciation to a pastor?

By Michael Quimby

October is widely recognized as “Pastor's Appreciation Month.” Hopefully, you have taken this as an opportunity to do something special to recognize the ministry of the senior and staff pastors of your local church.

Until a heart attack and open heart surgery changed my course, I served as a senior pastor in the Church of the Nazarene. Therefore, I can write to you from a pastor’s perspective.

Too often, laymen underestimate the pressure of leading a congregation. From my own experience, a pastor shares a common predicament with the President of the United States, feeling he must guard and measure every word to maintain public approval and avoid impeachment. Unfortunately, this level of pressure leads to mental, physical — and sometimes even spiritual — burn out for far too many pastors.

As a layman, you can play a vital role in strengthening the ministry of your pastor. The best way to do this is by demonstrating heartfelt appreciation.

I would like to share three signs of appreciation that meant the most to me throughout my ministry. If you grasp and implement these concepts, I am certain you will bolster your pastor’s feelings of being truly appreciated (and, consequently, increase his appreciation for you).

1. Pastors need to know that their ministry is changing lives!

The pastor gets praise from everyone at the door. Things like, “Pastor, that was a wonderful sermon!” But many get in their car or sit down at the lunch table and suddenly it’s a different story. “That was the shallowest message I ever heard!”

How does you pastor know that he is receiving genuine appreciation?

I always took time to listen when anyone would begin their comments with: “Pastor, that thing you said about _____ has really stuck with me and helped me this week.”

Or “That Scripture really came to life for me!”

Or one that really put me over the top: “Pastor, I’ve read that passage thousands of times and NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE!”

A good pastor is not content to simply entertain or babysit and MUST know that his or her ministry is changing lives! Be specific in what you liked about the pastor’s ministry. Be specific how the youth pastor has impacted your children or teens. Be specific how the music minister has impacted your worship.

2. Pastors need to know that their ministry is worth your support!

Growing up, my cousins lived in a broken home graced with a dead-beat dad. Their mom, my aunt, had to work two jobs just to provide food and shelter for the kids. “Dad” never paid a dime of child support.

At Christmas time, their mom had very little to buy Christmas gifts, and the kids lived with that disappointment in their mom. They resented the fact that she could not provide them with much more than trinkets or inexpensive clothing under the tree. BUT, here came dad with all these big, expensive gifts wanting to appear to be the hero with the kids.

I want to be real open here concerning the church …

I appreciated, but it did not impress me, when people came around at Christmas time or during pastor’s appreciation month with big gifts or expensive dinners at fancy restaurants. Don’t get me wrong. I really did enjoy and appreciate those gestures. But let me say this: At some level, I felt like Jesus did as He watched the widow put her mite in the offering.

Yes, my appreciation was for sale. But it was purchased by those who, time after time, cooked, set up tables, or prepared meals for ministries of the church. It was purchased by those who would spend hours and resources each and every week to minister to the children. It was purchased by those who faithfully put something in the plate each week or month to tithe their support for God’s Church.

It was purchased as I would leave the church late at night, exhausted by the demands of the ministry, only to see laymen cleaning the church, building props, decorating for a Sunday School class or program. It was purchased by a glance in the sanctuary to see musicians and singers practicing, one more time through, because they wanted to get it right and provide the best atmosphere possible for the Sunday worship.

It was purchased by men, women, teens and children giving up a Saturday to work around the church to maintain God’s House. It was purchased when I would arrive at the hospital after an emergency or to a home after a death only to find compassionate laymen, already there, ministering out of love and concern for one another.

If you want to invest in something your pastor will really appreciate, invest in the Church.

3. Pastors need to know they are commissioning leaders, not creating followers!

It does not impress the pastor that you are devoted to him and want to put him on a pedestal. There are those whose goal is to get close to, and noticed by, the pastor and even be able to garner his time and attention to an extreme.

A pastor does not want to build a group that will consume his time and attention. Rather, a pastor desires to create a team of fully devoted disciples of Christ. Disciples who want to grow, and to know and serve Christ with all their hearts.

I love the phrase in the Message Bible from Mathew chapter 5 describing the moments leading up to the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus refers to his disciples as “Climbing Companions.”

A few weeks ago, our pastor at College Church, Kendall Franklin, referred to this passage in his message, based on the theme from Lowe’s: “Let’s Build Something Together!” He distributed little LEGO blocks among us and challenged us to pray and ask the Lord to lay a ministry on each of our hearts. We were to keep that block close to us to remind us of that desire to be a part of the team. In my work, I spend the whole day in front of my computer screen. I have placed that block on my keyboard, and each day I am reminded of pastor’s challenge to build something together.

If you truly want to show your pastor appreciation, ask yourself this question: Am I consuming ministry efforts or complimenting ministry efforts?

In conclusion, as pastors, we are called to be ministers. But there are also times when we simply need to be ministered TO. I went through just such a time after my heart surgery.

God is now challenging me with the Scriptures:

“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! … Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God.” Hebrews 5:12, 6:1

Rev. Michael Quimby has more than 25 years of experience as a pastor in the Church of the Nazarene and holds a master’s degree in church management from Olivet Nazarene University. He currently serves as the regional sales manager for the Childcare Bus Division of Midwest Transit in Kankakee, Ill.